My tears rolled down my cheeks uncontrollable during worship last Sunday. I was convicted again how much I wanted to see God, to have that divine exchange with Him.
For the 1st time, I don't stand in the same frequency with Raymond (my husband). Sometime last week, my husband showed full enthusiam when he was sharing the benefits of investing young and wisely. In practicablity sense, I understood his intentions and nod inside my brain. However there was an inner voice telling me, "Jeslyn my child, why are you pursuing the worldly things when the earth is only a passing phase?" This inner voice was so strong, that I gave a blank look to my husband which annoyed him.
I understood whatever he said though I told him otherwise. Come on, as a commerce student half of my life, I do know some of the fundamentals. But I was quite sad when my husband spent most of his time looking at finance or political issues. He is no longer spending time with God by reading His word. The excuse he gave - God did not answer his prayers; He is an unfair God, so why should he still continue to read His word?
Shouldn't it be another way round? If my husband was a faithful servant of Him - that included reading His word, following His righteous ways and of course praying fervently, God will answer his prayers eventually. Maybe God already answered our prayers, but it is not according to the way we wanted, therefore we chose to turn a deaf ear. Then again, I am in no position to judge my husband nor God's ways. I am clueless on His ways too. The only thing that I can pray for, is a touch from God on Ray's heart that will change him.
I long to see God's face, and I pray that that divine opportunity will come for me to see Him face to face.
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